Phunny Phacts

Laughter, is there anything more reviving than a good laugh?  The moment something tickles your funny bone and sparks a laugh, everything around you stops, for the briefest moment the only thing you are focused on is laughing. I love a lot of things about life, at the top of my list is humor. As a student in college, I did an entire research assignment and paper on laughter, yeah, laughing is crucial in my world. From it’s contagious nature to the health benefits, laughter is an important part of our human existence.

There are so many things that make me laugh, from Big Bang Theory to inappropriate jokes at the most inappropriate times. In between the two is Useless facts, there are some funny truths in this world. I am talking about things that educate and crack you up at the same time. There is nothing funnier than some random, useless, but hilarious statement that turns out to be true. When I am feeling a little low and need a laugh fix, I google funny facts. Below you will find a few of the gems that I have found absolutely hilarious. I store them in my memory because one day I am gonna need these bits of information. In the right room with the right people, I am going to WOW the crowd. I will be smart and funny, the start of the show!  Enjoy, the laughs are on me!

In an effort to tickle your funny bone, below you will find 1o funny facts that I find chuckle worthy.

• The average woman uses her height in lipstick every 5 years.
• Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females.
• Nearly three percent of the ice in Antarctic glaciers is penguin urine.
• Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation.
• An apple, potato, and onion all taste the same if you eat them with your nose plugged.
• The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world.
• Each year, there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.
• George Washington grew marijuana in his garden
• The first alarm clock could only ring at 4am

THE FUNNIEST OF ALL!!!!

Puff, Puff ,Pass! Rotation is key!!!

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”~e.e. cummings

Going With The PHLOW

Like women all over the world, I awoke this morning with a gamut of things on my to do list. Christmas is upon us and I have tasks to accomplish. However, when I stirred to greet this day, there was something waiting for me, PAIN!!! Recently, I had my right ovary and Fallopian tube removed, damn Endometrioisis and Chronic Pelvic Pain! My recovery, to put it mildly, has been complicated.  As I transitioned from asleep to awake, the more conscious I became, I noticed this pain around my left ovary was intense.  I thought to myself, “hmph this is new.” I could barely make it to my bathroom and getting food was tear jerking. Now here I am, home alone, in horrible pain, and I got shit to do. THIS CAN’T BE LIFE!!

Actually, this is life, at least for me it is.  I don’t know why illness decided to inhabit my body and I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself or cry about it, been there..done that….ain’t nobody got time for dat(hey, a rhyme)!  What I have learned is to be adaptable. When my body tells me that my plans need to change, I change them. When my body starts screaming at me because I am doing the most, I stop. When my body is being stretched too far by my perfectionist behavior, I get a freaking grip and remind myself that perfection is an illusion, it’s not reality. So today will be spent, in my wonderfully plush bed.

Very slowly, I gathered the things I need to make my rest day entertaining. I took my medications, spent a few minutes in quiet praise(working on meditating frequently throughout my day), and snuggled up with my heating pad. I will not waste one minute of this day wondering why me, working myself up into a frenzy because I want to figure out why this is happening, nor will I allow my emotions to dictate how I should feel about “laying around.”  I will accomplish what I can while recuperating and the rest will have to be off until tomorrow.  I have learned to go with the flow and it feels amazing!!!      

Free To Love

I am an emotional creature. My emotions run deep and are powerful. It
has taken me years to learn how to reverse my emotional dynamic. I had to learn to control my emotions and to not let feelings lead me. Through tears, heartbreak, disappointments, hurt feelings, and grief, I have learned a valuable lesson about how I interact with people. 2015 has taught me so many lessons. It has been a year filled with a lot of tears and sprinkled with some laughs. As I watch the last 15 days of 2015 go by, I feel reflective. I am remembering and recalling all the life changing events that have taken place. This year, I have laughed, cried, learned, loved, loss, but most importantly, I have grown.

Which brings me to people, oh the divine creation known as Humans. Humans are one of God’s most magnificent but dangerous creations. Regardless of some of them being destructive, mankind is filled with precious gems. I am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to experience many wonderful times with the people who have come into my life. Of all of the people that I have encountered, it is the one’s that have caused me hurt that have taught me one of life’s most important lessons.

People are not ours to possess, as much as we would like to hold onto the ones we love, they are only loaned to us. For a person like me, who attaches and holds onto loved ones for dear life, this lesson was not easy to grasp.  People will come and go, we miss the value and meaning of our times together when we obsess about how or why they left our lives. 2015 has taught me to value the time that I have, to take no relationship for granted, whether good or bad, it served a purpose in my life, and to allow people to be who they are without trying to change them into what I want them to be.

The passing of my mom, changed me. While I knew mama was sick and I knew that her time was coming, I was not ready. The moment she left, I became that little girl who use to follow her around, who slept with her, who was glued to her hip every second of the day. Mama’s passing opened up so many wounds. I began to grieve for my mama, daddy, and grandma; I was paralyzed. Once I was able to focus again, I saw the lesson that mama taught me, even in her death. People are not mine to possess, God gives them to us for a period of time. I now see people differently, I am more free in my relationships because I know that I only have a limited amount of time with them, whether it be 6 months or 60 years, time flies.

I am beyond grateful for every person that is or has been apart of my life, they have played a part in shaping me. Even though I still, attach and love with my entire being, I am free in that love. I am not afraid of them leaving nor fearing the day when I may say or do something that makes them leave me. People will be people and I love them as they are, for who they are, and how they are. That is how you love, FREELY!!!

Periods Should Knot Be Painful

As a woman, I have lost count of the numbers of times that I have been told that the pain I am feeling in my pelvic region is normal.  I “became a woman,” at the tender age of 11, since then,  I have been in what seems like an ongoing battle with my Reproductive System. Around the age of 22, when I was old enough to advocate for myself and knew how to articulate to doctors and family, the fact that my period disappearing for months and months at a time was NOT normal, I began this journey. I have had more doctors that I can count, multiple surgical procedures, injections, implants, medications, and therapies, all in the hope of  conquering or controlling this invisible enemy that has invaded my body.

At the age of 23, I was diagnosed with PCOS which explained why I wasn’t getting pregnant. When I say I was having A LOT of sex, please understand that I mean Nympho status. Yet, I didn’t have an orgasm until I was 27, but I digress.  While I was not trying to get pregnant, I wasn’t doing ANYTHING to prevent it either.  I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that I should’ve gotten pregnant at least once.  Around my 25th birthday, I began to experience some pain. The pain felt like menstrual cramps but it soon morphed into tremendous pressure and that began two years of probing, humiliating exams, and more needles that I can stand, eventually I was diagnosed with Endometriosis.  In recent years, the last 5 to be exact, I have been diagnosed with Fibroids, Interstitial Cystitis, Chronic Pelvic Pain, and Adenomyosis.

As Langston Hughes so eloquently stated, life ain’t been no crystal stair. However, of all the devastation and heartbreak that has come with this journey, one of my greatest accomplishments, PSKBP was born of this anguish and confusion. Periods Should Knot Be Painful was birthed from my desire to understand and make sense of this life that I live. I suffered at the hands of many insensitive doctors, have been judged by people because I don’t look sick,  and been abandoned by friends. I know the suffering that comes with living this life!  If I can make this journey a little better for one woman and provide an abundance of support, education, empowerment, and love  while doing it, then my labor will have not been in vain. I know that there is Purpose in Pain and Triumph in Tragedy and I intend to prove it to as many women as I can.